Over the last 20 years of my life, I have developed a core philosophy that I have mentioned a couple of times in passing in comments to other people, but I've never actually posted much about it on my own. It's probably about time.
The philosophy is this; Being is easy, living is not, not and takes effort every day of our lives. The difference, in my mind, is a fundamental approach to everything we do in life. One of the most obvious and easily explained applications of this philosophy applies to a frequently contentious subject, religion. Religion is one of those places where many people are very good at 'Being' but not so much when it comes to 'Living'. Here is a classic example. I have an acquaintance who I know well, and have for many years. He frequently tells people that he 'is a christian'. That's great, I'm happy that he can profess his faith like that, but the problem is that knowing him, I don't believe it, because he doesn't 'live' it. Sure, he goes to church every Wed. and Sunday. Sure he participates in all the bible study classes at the church, he even donates quite of money to the church, but none of these things absolve him of his behavior. We are talking about a man who treats others poorly, including some of those closest to him, basically anyone that is not his equal or better (in his eyes), is dirt and gets treated as such. What kind of person is he? if an animal is in the road, he will not swerve to miss it. He litters, the world is his ashtray, and he drives aggressively to the point of being dangerous. He cares about very little beyond himself.
He is good at 'being', but the 'living' part seems to give him trouble, the worst part is that he doesn't see it.
This really isn't the only place this is true though. Another example is parenthood. It's easy to be a parent, you just have to create a child. Once you've become a parent, you are a parent for life. Unfortunately, 'living' life as a parent is a totally different ball game, one that is easy to fail, and might be the hardest thing to live well, but one that is eminently satisfying to see even your little successes bear out as your children grow.
It even applies to being a spouse, where being married is easy, once you've said 'I do', you're in until 'death do you part', and regardless of other outcomes, you will always be entwined in the life of the other party. The problem is that living married is hard. It means putting 'us' before 'I' and working at living the marriage every day.
Which brings up the most important part of the entire philosophy; you can survive just being, but you have to live to really get the most out of life. Sometimes, that means you'll fail, sometimes it means you'll get hurt, but at the end, you need failure to balance success, and you can look back and say, 'I was alive' or you can look back and say 'I lived'. I know which one I want to say.